


The Adventures of Batman and Clark

by VibrantVenus



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batman has a cat, Bruce Has Issues, Cats, Crack, Dialogue-Only, I know nothing about batman don't roast me, Let Batman say 'Fuck' 2k17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibrantVenus/pseuds/VibrantVenus
Summary: Batman gets a cat, and becomes depressingly attached.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My mom got Lego's and I, being the large child I am, played with them. This is the result.

   "I just think you shouldn't be so alone in that big house of yours, Bruce."

   "I'm not alone. I have Alfred, and Dick."

   "That only barely counts."

   "Fuck off Barbara."

   -

   "I got you a cat."

   "Barbara. Why."

   "Because you're a creepy bastard and you need something to occupy your time while you aren't beating up the Joker and hanging out in your cave."

   "Ughggh, fine, give me the cat."

   -

   "So what did you name the cat?"

   "Clark."

   "...Why?"

   "Because I know a Clark and he's a pretentious bastard."

   "Oh, okay then."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Clark interact. Iron Man pops in for some reason even though he exists in an entirely different universe.

   "So...do you have any powers?"

   "Mrow?"

   "I guess not."

   -

   "Eat the fish Clark, so you can grow bigger."

   "Meow!" 

   "Yeah"

   -

   "Meow"

   "Don't do that. It's making me feel...emotions."

   "Mrow?"

   "AGUUHHGH!"

   -

   "What's up fellow billionaire that has dead parents and very little will to live, and only has a 'power' because of their money"

   "Get out."

   "Oh come on Brucie, don't you love me anymore?"

   "No."

   "Harsh. Well, what's new with you?"

   "I got a cat. His name is Clark."

   "Clark?"

   "Mrow?"

   "Oh"

   "Yeah, oh. I think that's his secret weapon."

   "Yeah, probably."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iron Man knows Batman's identity because Iron Man seems to know everything. (JARVIS is just preparing to take over the world.)


End file.
